Darkness and Light

In the northern hemisphere December is the time of year when the darkness overrules the light. When days are short. And sunlight oft in short supply. So it is no wonder that people welcome the chance to celebrate, to fill their gloomy rooms with cheerful lights, open their doors to family and friends to share a drink or two or join together for a meal. Little children giddy with excitement, anticipate the arrival of the big man with the white beard and generous heart. People smile at strangers. Wearing daft hats and even sillier jumpers. Wishing everybody a Merry Christmas.

From October the pressure is on. We are bombarded everywhere you look by adverts always showing happy families together. Telling us that to be happy we should be spending our money on lavish gifts, which are still being paid for when it is time for the summer holidays. Fill our cupboards and freezers with enough food to feed an army for a fortnight or more, even though the supermarkets will be closed for only one day. Grey-faced with tiredness we pile into cars or trains or even planes to join the family. Somewhere. So we are not alone.

But what about those who have nothing to celebrate? Those living on the streets, for whatever reason. The hungry? The poor? Singletons who have no family to share a meal with. People who have recently suffered a bereavement or face Christmas without a certain family member for the first time. Old people forced into often childish behaviour, being treated as though they were infants again. Those who have no religious beliefs and find the whole idea of celebrating a birth that may never have happened a complete anathema. Those who really, truly, honestly, prefer to be on their own, but are made to feel that there must be something wrong with them.

What about them?

 

Thursday’s Special | Darkness and Light

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Heyjude

I have lived in the UK for most of my life, but when young I definitely had wanderlust and even ended up living in South Africa for several years which was a wonderful experience. I now look forward to a long and leisurely retirement doing what I like most - gardening, photography, walking and travelling.

56 thoughts on “Darkness and Light”

  1. I agree Jude – there are many Christmas is a sad time rather than the joyous one that everyone expects to have. We escaped it last year but this year we couldn’t leave my mother alone again so have had to be an unwilling part of the hype. Sadly there is little anyone can do to ease the burden except give kindness to as many as possible and hope that peace comes to all – after all that was the point of Christmas originally. Hope you have a lovely Christmas. Cheers Irene

  2. Thank you Jude for this . . . . .. so so true. Mum and I were only discussing this yesterday as we walked around the gardens. It was so lovely to get away from the Christmas madness, and also to see so many families doing the same.

    It is fabulous that so many places and people are now opening up their doors or doing something for those less fortunate, but if only we could somehow also stop the relentless pressure to have a ‘perfect’ Christmas. My own family had a challenging one last year, and the rifts are still being felt which is doubly hard for my Mum as it is her first without Dad. Here’s to a happier and more peaceful 2018, and a year where more of us realise that all we need at Christmas is love and a hug.

    Wishing you and your family a very loving Christmas xx

    1. Hopefully more people are realising that Christmas can be simple. I think it is much easier in the warmer climes. Here, families are often stuck indoors all day and tempers fray. Wishing you and your mum and Mr B a happy time xx

    1. An age thing? I enjoyed it when my kids were small, but it started to bug me when I saw the vast amount of presents my daughter was buying for her kids. And then the cost of said presents! And the way they didn’t always appreciate what they received, but expected them! At that moment I think I turned into a grumpy not-so-old woman 😀 Anyway, the darkest day has been and gone and we can all start looking forward to [dare I say it? ] spring…

      1. Spring! Oh yes! Judging by the size of the catkins I saw yesterday, and the alliums pushing up in the back garden, it looks like it might have started. Yay! And I do so agree with you about the overblown present-fest.

        1. I keep wandering around the garden to see if anything is stirring, some bulbs I planted in shallow pots are already poking their heads above ground (I just can’t remember what they are!!) I shall go and see if there are any signs of the alliums now. It is so wet, I wonder how any bulb survives.

  4. A thoughtful and thought-provoking post, Jude.

    For years, when my boys were small and we lived far from family, I longed for the perfect Norman Rockwell Christmas surrounded by family and friends in perfect camaraderie. Of course there is no such thing.

    Now that my sons are grown, I finally have that big family gathering I always wanted, but in a non-traditional way.
    My oldest son has a tendency to befriend people who are transplants to the city, or otherwise not particularly close to their families. These Christmas ‘Orphans’, with no where to go, end up here. This year a new transplant will be joining our growing ‘family’.
    My house is filled with laughter at Christmas. It is noisy, chaotic, and messy … ironically all the things I hate, but love dearly at the same time.

    Merry Christmas, Jude. Hope your days are filled with everything you love and enjoy.

    1. Well you know the saying ” you can choose your friends, but you can’t choose your family” – sounds as though you have created the type of ‘family’ that suits you. Have lots of chaotic and messy fun Jo – lots of love and a floury hug from me!

      1. So true. Interesting how our friends often feel more like our family than our family does 🙂.
        It’s even better when family are also really good friends ❤️

  5. I was thinking similar thoughts just yesterday Jude. There was an incident on Melbourne on Friday where a man drove his SUV through pedestrians at a tram stop in the city. They showed the footage of people flying through the air as the car hit them. A little boy is now in the Children’s Hospital for Christmas. His parents never expected that while they were out Christmas shopping on Friday. One of my friends lost her dog of 15 years on Saturday and she is devastated. My cousin is going through depression and has had a series of “bad” things happen over the last few weeks, culminating in someone hitting her car at the shops yesterday. These are just a couple of things that I know personally, imagine the huge numbers of people who, today in particular, will feel their losses and sadness more keenly.
    For me, it’s a time to come home and see my family. We exchange gifts as a family because we love to do it, but for us, we just want to spend that time together.
    Merry Christmas to you x.

    1. I saw that incident on the news. Crazy people everywhere and a car is an easy weapon to get hold of. I think your last paragraph is key. People should celebrate the way THEY want to, not the way they feel they HAVE to. Have a great day DJ 🙂

  6. Beautiful post, dear Jude. Wish you a very merry Christmas, and 2018 filled only with good things! xo

  7. A nice post, I posted a similar post about Christmas check it out 😃😃

  8. This is a great, thoughtful post, Jude. I relate to this part: “Those who really, truly, honestly, prefer to be on their own, but are made to feel that there must be something wrong with them.” That’s me, exactly. I tell people that I’m doing nothing for Christmas and it’s just another day, and they don’t get it. Each to his/her own, I think.

  9. yeah, what about them? This one: “Those who really, truly, honestly, prefer to be on their own, but are made to feel that there must be something wrong with them.” That one is me! And I’ve paid a price. So thanks for this post.

    1. Nice to see you Badfish. It’s a pity more people don’t realise that some of us are quite content with our own company! Wishing you a happy and adventurous 2018 wherever it take you 🙂

  10. It’s one of the many reasons I escape to another country every December – to escape Christmas and the pressure that comes with it. Maybe when I have some grandchildren I will feel a little different 🙂

    1. I only wish I could persuade the OH to go overseas for Christmas, but it was very nice just ignoring it this year at home.

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