This is the last in the month that Becky (the Queen of Squares) has challenged us to find lines. In Squares naturally. I’m finishing with several poignant lines that I hope you will like.
Visiting time
October Squares | Day 31
Many thanks Becky for hosting yet another wonderful and inspiring challenge: you always get me to see the world around me differently. A review of this month’s squares will appear in a couple of days – meanwhile I hope you have a well deserved rest!
The words in this poem have been selected using a technique known as Erasure. I’ll let Cathy (~wander.essence~) explain it.
This type of Found Poem is known as Erasure, where you choose a source and erase away most of the “text” and leave words and/or phrases and/or sentences so that what’s left says something very different from what the original writing said and is art. The end result should be something different from what the original text said.
Mine came from a page in a novel I was recently reading and I just thought I’d give it a go. The end result is not so different than the original text, but these words caught my imagination. I’ll leave it to you, the reader, to form your own story.
~wander.essence~ poetry
TRAVEL WORDS 
Thanks for the photo, and the poem. Well done with the 31 day challenge too. 🙂
Best wishes, Pete.
Thanks Pete. I have enjoyed this one, but it was a bit too easy – lines appear everywhere!
Beautiful lines in all senses of the word – this is a lovely lovely ending Jude 🙂
Thanks Becky, I was hoping you’d like it.
How interesting. I’d like to give ‘erasure’ a go. And I’ve loved your photo gallery this month. Thank you.
Thank you Margaret for visiting my blog and your lovely comments, they are much appreciated. The ‘erasure’ poem is fun. I shall try it again.
Nice, Jude! I love this erasure poem and I’m glad you had fun with it and will try it again. I think they’re fun too. I love the sigh, the words of poetry dissolving, the frail voice of the mother, the signal of the end. I don’t know what the original text was; you say the meaning is not that much different. I find it is hard to find a totally different meaning myself; sometimes I feel I’m just condensing what the author said! But I love this, and I’m so glad you decided to try it. I’ll link it to my poetic journey of tomorrow, which I’m still frantically working on! 🙂
Yes, this felt like I had condensed the original, but I loved the way these words flowed and even rhymed. And the bell signalling the end could have meant the end of the visit or the end of a life or simply the end of the poem. I shall certainly try again.
Yes, I like the different meanings that one can read in those last lines – I wondered what the meaning was, but either way, the ending seemed sad. I like leaving interpretation open. 🙂
I hadn’t heard of erasure poems, but I liked reading this linear one. Did you know how it was going to end or did it surprise you too?
Certain words just stood out for me, I had no idea what it would read like, but then I saw how it all came together.
I’ve not heard of Erasure. Interesting idea, and a great result here. I like the whole composition with text and photo (and square, of course).
What a lovely ending! I’ve enjoyed all your lines.
Good to try something new, and it is quite poignant. 🙂 🙂 I find myself wanting to fill in the missing words.
It was good fun trying this out, the words I chose seemed to choose themselves. And of course I have been through many visiting times during the last 5 months…
True! How’s he doing? Just getting on with his life, as best…? 🙂 🙂
This is amazing Jude. So touching and so coherent. I would not have thought erasure could produce something so good. You’ve inspired me to go off and try it. I don’t expect results of this stature!!!